On Forgiveness and Empowerment -
-Banishing the Victim

What I learned in life today:

Past wounds are in the past. They are no longer bleeding. Many times, many of us spend much of the present feeding on old wounds for strength, and in doing so it leaves old wounds open and does not allow them to heal and close completely. There is truly wisdom in forgiveness of both yourself and others. There is solace in forgetting and letting go of guilt and anger. If not, every time the past is felt, it can encourage feelings of guilt, victimization, and worthlessness. All feelings which can feed into the ultimate negative self-fullfilling prophesy. The strength that one gets from continuing to feel old wounds is not a real strength, it is a weakening strength.

Also, I've learned, that if one talks about old wounds to others - it allows others to pity, which gives nothing but a false and temporary feeling of strength, with an even more horrifying side effect. Continued reminders of old wounds continue to taint the soul. Furthermore, It affects the way others perceive an individual, and acts around them. This is definitely NOT a good thing. There doesn't have to be a reason for anyone to allow their past to continue to hurt them. The past does not need to be a wild animal roaming free - it can be locked away and controlled. One can look back on the times when they were hurt, or didn't have opportunities that others did, and they can feel differently. They can feel blessed, they can feel loved. Its no longer about the poor victim - because they are a new person now.

This new person is a beautiful, happy and worthy person not because of those past experiences, but because of who they are today, in the here and now. If one refuses to accept strength out of pity any longer, and refuses to damage the self-esteem any more - they can feel they are a new person in the present, a beautiful person just as they are, who is worthy of happiness, and deserving of unconditional love. I believe it is impossible to attract good things into life, whilst still dwelling on bad things.

Life is all about choices. Its so easy to change to an outlook of empowerment. How many times does one say "I never could do this and that..." I never could play the guitar, I never could sing, I never could dance. How about "I chose not to play the guitar." "I chose not to sing." "I chose not to dance." Isn't the latter really the case? Why victimize? Call it what it is. Is it true that if a person kept trying they would still never be able to accomplish these things? How much of this comes down to choices? Good or bad, they're still choices. If they were bad choices, accept, forgive, and forget the hurt, guilt and anger. They're done and over. Move on, and do not think on them again.

Its so much more empowering to the spirit, to leave the past out of it. In doing so, the spirit is watered, and the self dodges a very damaging pity bullet. One cannot get respect from someone who pity's them. One cannot have self-respect, whilst they are pitied.

-Rebekah Faith